What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Are you happy with your life?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Which fish tastes good for South Indian curries?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

What are some ballbusting stories?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

What are the potential economic consequences of the U.S. following Europe's lead on climate policies, as discussed in the article?

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Is it because Trump is impulsive that he is never on time?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What is your most erotic sex story?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Why aren't F1 cars popular on the street?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Liberals, why don't you like Conservatives?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Do you consider masturbating to porn cheating if you are married?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority